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Prisoners 7874-7877: The Gorefield Horrorscope Multiverse Project (Part 3)

Preamble: The Garfield Multiverse is a sub-multiverse of our main multiverse. These universes all have one factor in common; a human henceforth known as the 'Jon' and a cat or feline-like creature henceforth known as the 'Garfield.' This is a nearly universal quality, with one almost always finding the other though a select handful of exceptions exist for both, one of which will be elaborated here.
While most Garfields are benign, if oftentimes unpleasant, sarcastic, and sardonic, individuals, some Garfields manifest as bizarre and dangerous creatures of various stripes. These are commonly known as Gorefields. They are almost all known to be a threat to their respective Jon, and anyone around themselves. This project exists to contain, or at least control, 13 of the most powerful Gorefields, from the Zodiac Cluster of the Garfield Multiverse.
Prisoner HMΓ-7874-IC
Name: Sagittarius Gorefield
Alias: The Gambler
Image: Footage Available
ID: HMΓ-7874-IC
Universe of Origin: 10278/11 (Garfield Multiverse, Sagittarius Universe)
Sentence: Permanent containment for posing a consistent threat to Jon 10278/11
Prisoner File: This capricious creature was brought to life by a child's wish. It believes that Jon 10278/11 is that child. He is a deeply compulsive gambler, and in particular loves using his power, to randomly instil extreme good or bad luck in whoever he hits with his arrows, to play games of chance with Jon 10278/11's life.
A centaur-like creature, Sagittarius adores open fields. He is somewhat claustrophobic, however, and avoids basements, especially if they lack windows. Thrown dice will fascinate him until the results are revealed. He is attracted to Libras, and repelled by Cancers.
Containment Procedures: Sagittarius will be kept in a large steel-plated cell, made to look like the interior of a casino. He will be provided with as many games of chance as we can find for him to play, with androids provided to be his dealers and opponents. A restaurant inside this facsimile of the casino will regularly be stocked with lasagna and drinks. This will happen behind closed doors; the entire restaurant will be equipped to close up into a steel shell for restocking.
His guards will wear enchanted suits of power armour to prevent his magical arrows from striking them. They must all be Cancers, and each will carry one set of plastic dice in a dice cube. They must carry tranquilliser darts rated for incapacitating horses. There must be no windows in the surrounding hallways, which must also be narrow.
Escape Procedures: If Sagittarius escapes his confinement, lock down the cell block as quickly as possible. Sagittarius moves very fast. Upon seeing Sagittarius, guards must open their dice cubes and scatter the contents in front of him. This will create an opening to tranquillise him.
Prisoner NMH-7875-IC
Name: Capricorn Gorefield
Alias: The Herald
Image: Footage Available
ID: NMH-7875-IC
Universe of Origin: 10278/12 (Garfield Multiverse, Capricorn Universe)
Sentence: Permanent containment for posing a consistent threat to Jon 10278/12
Prisoner File: Capricorn is a figure summoned by an illicit cult who were attempting to communicate with creatures beyond the veil of regular reality. It communicates a message of hate, violence and misery via messages delivered through telecommunication devices which drive victims to violent insanity, in service of an unknown master.
It can use the many TV and radio signals in malls to quickly spread its message, but caves far from civilisation render this power impotent. A radio, playing from a CD or tape, provides an anchor that helps sustain reality in the mind of the listener. He is attracted to Virgos, and repelled by Scorpios.
Containment Procedures: This aquatic creature must be contained to a microcosm of the Plane of Water. At no point may any telecommunication device enter this pocket universe. He must be Dimension Locked by a friendly deity, and that spell must be made permanent. It is unknown if he can move through dimensions on his own.
The area around the cell must be only just big enough to let Capricorn enter the hallway, and then become stuck. Nevertheless, his sheer speed means that a one-way shields to control his movement should be in place. His guards must all be Scorpios, and standard tranq darts will be sufficient to control Capricorn. They may only carry a music player with their choice of music, and no other telecommunication devices. In case of failure on the part of the Dimension Lock spell, a tracking beacon and teleport homer must be affixed to his body.
Escape Procedures: If Capricorn escapes from the pocket universe into the Penitentiary, the guards posted should be able to quickly contain him. If he escapes to another dimension, attempt to isolate the weakness in our defences and attempt to teleport him back once his cell has been restructured to contain him better. If he cannot be brought back via the teleport beacon, Jon 10278/12 has been given his own teleport beacon, to take him to a private cave home that has a standard suite of amenities, excluding telecommunications. The penitentiary will excuse lost time at work, and ensure that he keeps his job.
Prisoner NMB-7876-IC
Name: Aquarius Gorefield
Alias: The Devotee
Image: Footage Available
ID: NMB-7876-IC
Universe of Origin: 10278/13 (Garfield Multiverse, Aquarius Universe)
Sentence: Permanent probation and observation for coercion, encouraging self-harm and encouraging violence
Prisoner File: Aquarius is a creature from the deep sea twisted by a magic jar. Suffering from deep loneliness, he sought companionship, and in particular that of Jon 10278/13 after he accidentally saved his life. At this point, his goal became to become Jon 10278/13's best friend. He is very difficult to detect, and will only speak to Jon. He will take offerings of blood in return for performing tasks for Jon 10278/13, and attempts to coerce Jon 10278/13 into being his friend by causing him troubles and issues throughout the day in hopes of getting him to rely on him.
Aquarius can squeeze his lanky body into crawlspaces, and enjoys these confined environments. However, he has a fear of heights and will avoid entering an airplane at all costs. Seeing Jon 10278/13 talking on a phone fills him with dread and sadness that he's being forgotten, essentially stunning him with emotional pain. He is attracted to Scorpios and repelled by Geminis.
Containment Procedures: Neither overtly dangerous nor fundamentally ill-intentioned, we primarily need to address his methods. Through Jon, we have managed to communicate to him simple terms; in return for synthesised human blood and a pass to be Jon 10278/13's friend, he must only visit for 4 hours per week, and never when Jon 10278/13 is working or having another visitor over. He has been made to agree to wear a tracking device, and we will use this to monitor his position and behaviour at all times. At the first violation of these limitations, he will be given a stern warning. A second violation will result in permanent imprisonment.
Aquarius is fast, clever, and charismatic. He will be guarded by drones who will not fall for his charms. He lacks both attack power and defence, so a basic steel cell, steel blast doors, and tranq darts will suffice. Any men sent to check or maintain the drones are to be Geminis, and they must be given a simple script to pretend they are talking to Jon 10278/13 on a provided inactive flip-phone.
Escape Procedures:
The drone guards should be able to control Aquarius if he escapes his cell. However, if he does get away, Jon 10278/13 has been provided with a button that will teleport him to a fusion-powered stealth plane with a full suite of amenities. Again, the penitentiary will excuse his absence from work and ensure his continued employment.
Prisoner NMΖ-7877-IC
Name: Pisces Gorefield
Alias: The Graceful
Image: Footage Available
ID: NMΖ-7877-IC
Universe of Origin: 10278/14 (Garfield Multiverse, Pisces Universe)
Sentence: Permanent containment for posing a consistent threat to Jon 10278/14
Prisoner File: Pisces is a rain god from ancient times with a passion for art and aesthetic. He would draw his favourite cities into the sea, drowning them to preserve them at the bottom of the sea. He finds Jon 10278/14 to be pleasing to his eye and wishes to add him to the collection. He aims to accomplish this by playing a demented game of hide-and-seek, where he will summon increasingly intense rain onto Jon 10278/14. If Jon is entirely soaked, he will be teleported to Pisces' domain and drowned.
Pisces can manifest in bodies of water as small as pools, and can have them apply for the purpose of his 'game.' However, being in a submarine immunises one to his game for the most part. Umbrellas help protect one if caught in the rain. He is attracted to Aries and repelled by Aquariuses.
Containment Procedures: Pisces will be contained in a cell on a planet with no liquid water in a universe other than his own. His cell will contain enough water to contain him, with minimal room to move. All guards around the cell will wear full-body wetsuits to prevent their skin from getting wet at all. They will carry high-yield tranq dart guns rated to incapacitate a whale. A permanent Teleport Trap spell will be placed over his spell and the surrounding cell block. He will also be affixed with a teleport beacon and a tracking device. He will be guarded by Aquariuses, and hallways surrounding the cell must be too narrow for the whale-sized creature.
Escape Procedures: Given the circumstances of his containment, it is unlikely for Pisces to escape. If he does, it should be an easy matter to hit him with enough darts to incapacitate him and then return him to his cell. If he nevertheless manages to escape, we should be able to capture him with the teleport beacon and/or the tracking beacon. Jon will be provided with a button to teleport him to a large fusion-power stealth submarine that will house him and accommodate for his amenities. The penitentiary will excuse his absence from work and ensure his continued employment.
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[Spoilers] Hawkins Book Club: Pyramids of Montauk Overview (Part 1)

Welcome back to the batshit crazy world of the Montauk Project.
Last time on Hawkins Book Club, we learned that magic is real, there’s a whole bunch of secret magical societies, magicians can create “thought forms” through sex, there’s an entire group of reprogrammed assassins ready to go at a moment’s notice, you can give your child psychic powers by jamming a metal rod into her skull while she’s a fetus, L. Ron Hubbard was a wizard, time-traveling Neo-Nazis shot Jesus in the face, Jesus responded by kicking their asses with a Demofoot and Mark Hamill is a Neo-Nazi.
So, in my ongoing quest to explain the origins of Stranger Things I present my overview of the third book in the Montauk series: the 1995 book Pyramids of Montauk: Explorations in Consciousness. Without further ado, let’s dive in.
The book starts off with a lengthy dedication to Preston Nichols’s deceased mother. It’s admittedly rather touching, though the authors apparently felt the need to point out that she knew about the whole Wilson brothers connection. The Prelude is just a recap of the first two books. The Introduction deals with Peter Moon talking about how many people have sent him letters “about the strange mind control and time phenomena that they’ve encountered in their lives” since the release of the first book. He then gives us this helpful bit of advice;
“As a general rule, if you think you have been involved in a space-time project, you probably have.”
I’ll keep that in mind. Moon then proceeds to bitch and moan for a bit about how major media outlets have no interest in letting two guys rant about time-travel and sex magick on national television. He also throws in another legal disclaimer as usual;
“As it is written, ‘The Montauk Project’ is not necessarily one hundred percent true. Some of it is based upon intuition and psychic readings, but its general premise is obviously much too close for comfort when it comes to the people who control the media.”
I have no idea what he means by this, but he goes on to elaborate that this book is written for people who are reading about the occult for the first time and “practicing occultists”.
Chapter 1 starts off with Nichols, Moon and a musician named Denney Colt returning to Camp Hero in 1993 after finding out that the radar dish was active again. On the way there, they spot a large flock of birds sitting on a telephone line by the base, all staring in one direction, and unwilling to move when our heroes throw rocks at them. Continuing onward, they witnessed two cars drive up to the base and “six or seven” engineers got out along with an “oriental photographer”. Nichols spoke to one of the men, who claimed that he worked for Cardion Electronics and was showing off the radar’s capabilities for a foreign country, specifically in regards to catching aquatic drug smugglers. According to Nichols, this story was “ludicrous” because the radar was much too powerful for that. Moon then contacted a friend who just happened to have Cardion as one of his clients. He said the true reason was much more plausible.
“The story relayed to him was that the military was trying to find a way of detecting militant Arabs in the Middle East. Low levels of radio active [sic] fiber were being introduced into the diet of certain Arab countries so that potential terrorists or soldiers could be picked up on radar screens.”
See? Much more plausible.
Nichols, however, calls that a load of crap. He then calls his friend Klark (the guy who wanted to build a time machine with his cut of the books’ profits), who tells him that Siemens sent a guy out to install a new radar installation on the base. Moon sees this as further confirmation of the Nazi connection to Montauk due to Siemens’s rather shady past (and they also tried to kill a lobbyist, apparently). Nichols hires a pilot to fly him over the base while he took pictures, and a circle in the ground revealed that the base had a particle accelerator on station. Moon, Nichols, Colt and a new guy named Mike Nichols head back to find that the roads had been repaved, the bushes were trimmed and the pavement was new. After entering the circle, the party suffered “reactions”. Mike got “very tired and disoriented”, Colt developed a red triangular spot on her neck, Moon got a horrendous migraine and Preston suffered radiation burns on his chest and legs. They even busted out a Geiger counter to confirm it.
After the Montauk crew messes with Preston’s attempts to monitor their transmissions, our heroes pack it up and head back to the parking lot where they are approached by a “local media person”.
“He took one look at the antenna on Preston’s van and wanted to know if we were looking for aliens. He started giggling and thereafter I have referred to him as Giggles.”
He seems like a reasonable guy. “Giggles” explains how he noticed some strange phenomena around Montauk as well, and recommends that group talk to the surfers. Conveniently, as soon as he leaves a surfer walks up to the group and talks about how he was constantly getting woken up in the middle of the night by military helicopters and actually went down to the base to complain to the officer on duty, who he got into a fight with. Town officials later told the group that the soldiers were National Guardsmen on “bivouac training exercise”, even though the base was a declared a toxic area.
“If the base is contaminated, it would be idiotic to have troops camp out in the midst of this toxicity. It was also out of place for the military to be so nasty to a civilian if they were just doing routine exercises”
Any current or former servicemen/women care to weigh in on this? Because I suspect that Moon has no idea how the military operates.
Transitioning into Chapter 2, Moon and Nichols return to the base yet again (why don’t they just rent a house in Montauk?) and actually get yelled at by a guard, claiming that the land is private property. Nichols retorts that it’s public, state property, and thus begins a lengthy back-and-forth exchange that ultimately results in the guard calling the police, and then getting into an argument with them when they point out that Nichols is right. Later, the duo learn that the guard was actually a Brookhaven National Laboratory employee named John Zacker, who was an acquaintance of one of the duo’s friends. This friend called Zacker up, and the guy claimed that he didn’t even remember being at Montauk. After that call, he vanished without a trace. The duo then went to a real estate office where an angry employee told them that Camp Hero was federal property. When they looked over a tax map, she quickly changed her story to claim that it was state property and essentially told them to piss off. They also learn that the cars of some of the people who helped them were being set on fire.
Chapter 3 calls back to the incident in which state police ticketed Nichols and his friends for trespassing on the base and the resulting lawsuit against the police.
“On May 19, 1993 there was a hearing in East Hampton Justice Court, Suffolk County. The docket numbers were 93-4-345, 93-4-346 and 93-4-347. The judge was Honorable James R. Ketcham, the prosecuting attorney was Michael Brown, Esq. (Assistant District Attorney) and the court reporter was Elena McClash.”
So there you go, if you want to go out and read the actual transcript yourself, head over there, but I’ll abstain. Nichols and friends were charged with trespassing and Nichols argued that a law required all state park land to be available to the public. The judge ordered the DA to bring in the trooper who ticketed the group and the trial occurred on June 16, 1993. Moon was not present because;
“I could not attend the trial as a friend had set it up for me to attend a Moody Blues concert and give Justin Hayward a copy of the Montauk Project (I received word later that he enjoyed it and that the next album of the group would be called ‘Time Traveler’).”
So after attempting to unsuccessfully claim credit for The X-Files, Moon is now trying to claim that he inspired a British rock band. This guy strikes me as being far too desperate to get recognized by someone, anyone at all.
We get a summary of the trial itself, where it is revealed that Nichols was acting as the attorney. Yes, our dear crazy friend Preston B. Nichols, Slayer of Demofoots and destroyer of UFOs, stood before a judge in a United States court and tried to argue a case. Holy shit, I think I might have to reverse my stance on seeing that transcript. But perhaps the most mind-boggling element was that he actually won. Yeah, the judge dismissed the case because there was insufficient signage at the base stating that it was off-limits. Damn, I better watch what I say about him from now on.
The trial left many questions regarding the Camp’s ownership unanswered, so the investigation continues in Chapter 4. Moon looks through old newspaper clippings and learns that the General Services Administration had attempted to sell the 278 acre property in 1984 on orders from President Reagan, but was fought by multiple federal officials. Somehow, after a lengthy process a tax bill got the land turned over to the state, no official ceremony ever occurred.
While researching the meaning of the word “Montauk” in Chapter 5, Moon stumbles across a book containing an old photograph of a pyramid-shape mound about twenty feet high at Montauk. Moon also discovers that (interestingly enough,) the Montaukett Indian leaders took the last name of “Pharaoh”, thus making another connotation with Egypt. Also, a guy named Colonel William Parsons allegedly enslaved the Montauketts. In addition, Thomas Jefferson recorded their language. Moon presented all of this information to his cynical friend Kenn Arthur;
“ I then told him about Thomas Jefferson and his pursuit of the Montauks’ language. He told me that the tongue the Montauks spoke was known as Vril, an ancient Atlantean tongue. Kenn said that it was a later version of an even more ancient tongue called Enochian, the language of the angels.”
………………
You know, Moon has a habitat of just casually dropping in bombshells like this. You would just be reading and nodding along as he talks about Thomas Jefferson and a connection between the Montauketts and Egypt, and then BOOM! ATLANTIS!
This book….
Arthur then goes on to explain that Atlantean leaders also had rulers called Pharaohs and that a series of small pyramids made of white bricks existed at Montauk at one point which were covered up. Also, the pyramid mounds were apparently razed during World War I. Moon then contacts Madam X who then explains that the pyramids at Montauk, Egypt, Atlantis and Mars (which you may remember from the first book) were all connected on a grid that “support our planet in space and time”. This grid was possibly used to “as a pattern for creation that some stellar or divine influence used in order to create a planet or the like”. In addition, both Egypt and Montauk were remnants of Atlantis, and that the Egyptians and Montauketts were the descendants of Atlanteans hence the “Pharaoh” title. Also, there was a connection made between Montauk and Montu, the Egyptian god of war and the fact that Montauk is parallel to Mount Olympus and Troy, as well as being 100 degrees from the Great Pyramids. Finally Camp Hero was built on sacred Native American ground.
Say, does anyone remember when the weirdest part of these books was a bunch of Brookhaven scientists launching radios into the air to change the weather? Man, those were the days.
This segways into the “Montauk Mistrial”, in which a bunch of corporate assholes managed to get the Montauketts declared an “extinct tribe” in 1910, (due to intermarriage with African-Americans) in order to steal their land. Moon adds this random comment;
“The judge’s name was Abel Blackmar which is rather amusing if you consider the proposition the proposition that people dramatize their own names. In such an instance, he would dramatize being “able” to “mar” “blacks”.
…….Moving on….
Arthur then explains the reason for this;
“He told me that there had been a systematic attempt to ‘degrade’ them and their heritage by ‘forcing’ them to intermarry with blacks. This was done through economic deprivation and manipulation rather supervised intercourse. The design was for them to become ‘the lowest of the low’.
Yeah, I can see the government at the time pulling shit like this. A Montaukett contacts Moon and further elaborates that companies screwed them over even more by denying them work, which would “economically strangle” them into joining the military, in which they would have to register as “black”, which would supposedly solidify that they were actually black. In 1918 the Montauketts were then declared to be “white men” by court ruling as yet another “fuck you”, courtesy of Uncle Sam (thankfully, this was finally reversed in 2013).
Chapter 7 discusses the Montaukett tribe culture in detail. It also describes Moon meeting a Montaukett retired policeman named Robert Cooper, who is trying to regain the tribe’s land and heritage. Moon describes him thusly;
“Although he is dark skinned, he does not look like what would be termed an African American. His features would coincide with an Atlantean (based upon the legends of some of the various races of Atlantis), or Polynesian appearance.”
I’m just going to hope that Moon didn’t say that to his face. He also has this to say;
“What I found most impressive about Bob Cooper is that he does not want the land so that the Montauks can sell tobacco and have gambling casinos.”
You know Moon, if you’re “impressed” by this, I think you may be a slightly racist prick. Regardless, Cooper is simply trying to regain the tribe’s sacred land for spiritual reasons.
Moon then puts in the now defunct PO address for the tribe requesting that readers donate. In a similar vein, I’m going to put the link to the tribe’s website and donation page here and here. Now, to get serious for a minute, I’m also going to request that you kind people consider donating to the tribe as well. These guys have practically lost everything, even their heritage and they’re still fighting for it. Though the ruling that they are an “extinct” tribe was reversed in 2013, legislation restoring their status as a state-recognized tribe apparently died in committee in 2014, and the tribe is trying to push it through once again this year (you can view the details here). The point is, they need help. So once again, I encourage you and everyone else in the Stranger Things community to send some money their way to help out. God knows that no one else is giving them support; there really seems to be just us. The 2014 measure failed in no small part due to sheer apathy on the part of the electorate, and seeing as how this wasn’t even mentioned by the news media, it might happen again. That said, I’m also going to ask you spread the news of this yourself; in person, on social media, wherever. If you live in New York, please write to your District Senator (if you don’t know who that is, you check here) I have no idea if this will make a difference, but we should at least try to help these guys out instead of just allowing them to get screwed over yet again. Maybe something good will come out of these godawful books. With that said, let’s get back to the riffing.
Chapter 8 deals with Moon’s hunt for Camp Hero’s deed holder. The “Quitclaim Deed” stipulates that the land belongs to New York, but the federal government can take it back at a moment’s notice for the purpose of national defense, and the federal government still owns the underground. In accordance with the Non-Intercourse Act, if the Montauketts gain the recognition of their tribe back, they could reclaim their land (so once again, pleaseplease help them out).
In Chapter 9, Moon meets a Montaukett shaman named Sharon Jackson who explains how the Montauketts managed to preserve their culture and stated that the pyramids “were not of the Earth”, and may have been carved from the same material as their “Council Rock”.
Chapters 10-11 are just incredibly in depth discussions of the “morphogenetic grid”, Montauk’s position as a “gateway”, how the grid is composed of “Platonic solids”, how bones store “life information” on the grid (and allow communication with the dead), and how Cameron was able to tap into the energy.
Chapter 12 talks about the “mystery schools” and how they are constantly at odds with each due to different belief systems. Also, Moon states that whatever religion or belief system that has the most members has the most “thought feeding” into the grid, and the prophecy of that religion will be the one to come true. So I guess this means that if enough people convert to Pastafarianism the world will end with the Flying Spaghetti Monster destroying us all.
Chapter 13 talks about the concept of God. Prepare yourself.
According to Moon, there is in fact no one monitoring the Earth, and that the Morphogenetic Grid is using geometry to push evolutionary changes.
“In other words, there is apparently no one who is monitoring and programming evolution in positive and business like[sic] manner. At least, if they are, they’re not making themselves very well known. Most people, particularly your television commentators, are just muddling along in time and reporting their version of ‘what happens’.”
I love how Moon is still bitter over getting blocked from television, and couldn’t resist throwing in another petty jab at them in the middle of his book.
“In recent years, there has been much panic ‘pumped into the grid’ as people have focused on environmental crises. Some want us to believe the Earth is in direct threat of extinction by means of a ‘greenhouse effect’ or other means. Others want us to think that environmentalists have their own corrupt and sinister agenda.”
…. And apparently the climate change debate is having an effect on the grid too. Okay then…
Oh, and every living thing is programmed by a biometric code the grid issues which can be manipulated by telepaths like Duncan Cameron.
Chapter 14 sets forth the idea that the Celts had originated in India, stopped by Egypt and hung out there until the Jewish slaves fled and left with the Pharaoh’s daughter, eventually settling in the British Isles. Also, Shakespeare apparently predicted Duncan Cameron in The Scottish Play (hey, I’m an actor and I don’t want to take any chances). This somehow indicates Cameron’s lineage to the Pharaohs.
Chapter 15 explains how the Pharaoh’s function was to balance good and evil and “pump the morphogenetic grid with information”, which gave him great magical power.
“The Pharaonic line had its most severe setback at the time of Moses, an Egyptian high priest who was groomed for the Pharaohship.
Well, let’s see how Moon utterly disfigures this religious figure.
“Moses literally initiated the downfall of Egypt by orchestrating the Exodus and taking off with the Arcadian staff, a magical/technical device handed down from Atlantis.”
Just as I suspected. After that, the role of the Pharaoh became fractionalized into bickering secret societies. Also, the pyramids are repositories for magic and there is an identical pyramid that is reversed directly below the Great Pyramid and interfaces with other realities. As usual, Moon does not bother to explain how he acquired this information.
Chapter 16 further elaborates how Tahuti, the god of wisdom, built the Great Pyramid and is currently residing there just… hanging out and watching American Gods, I guess. Apparently adept magic students can literally drop by and say hello and ascend out of this realm.
Chapter 17 is a very lengthy chapter discussing the history of Mars, Earth’s relation to it, and how it affects us. To summarize, when Mars swings close to Earth, it tends to cause cataclysmic events. In addition, Mars may have begotten life onto Earth due to the idea that the Egyptian city of Baal was founded by Martians, who proceeded to mate with humans. The people of Baal had an identical blood type to the Gaelic people, which was mostly Rh negative blood. Moon thinks that this means that if you have Rh positive blood, it means that you have a similar genetic structure to a rhesus monkey.
“None of this is meant to suggest that you yourself were derived from apes, but if you suddenly feel an incessant craving for bananas or the desire to swing from trees, be calm. It is just you genetic memory coming awake and it will soon pass.”
Is… this supposed to be a joke? I’m honestly not sure whether Moon wants me to take this seriously or not. Anyway, what is most definitely not a joke is the fact that people with Rh negative blood are descended from Martians. Of course.
This book…
He then finally starts talking about something actually related to Stranger Things;
“…studies were done on human beings subjected to complete sensory deprivation in a flotation tank. After a period of time by various individuals in the tank, the body clocks which control all the autonomous nervous systems all returned to a cycle of 24 hours and forty minutes. This is the length of a Martian day! If this is the case, then maybe our entire genetics originated from Mars when it occupied the cradle orbit.”
…Okay, tangentially related to Stranger Things with a pinch of insanity mixed in.
He goes on another tangent about the Cathars and moves onto Chapter 18, which expands this idea of Martian colonization further and claims that Earth was initially settled by an alien “Elder Race” called the Elohim, who ended the dinosaurs and became human. They left behind symbols etched into crystals that were scattered around the world, connecting the Egyptians, the Atlanteans, the Sirians and the mystery schools together. Also, there are ten pyramids at Shensi, China that are the “last seal to be broken”, and a “lost science” would be rediscovered on how to manipulate the grid. Apparently the Nazis tried to get it.
Chapter 19 is another lengthy chapter describing how the “Eye of Horus” fuses both sections of the brain together which would open the third eye which in turn would allow the person to tap into the grid for magical purposes. The rest is just a whole bunch of metaphysical and magical lunacy mixed in with the mystery schools, the Sphinx and the connection between memory and the magnetic grid. Also apparently, the Age of Aquarius started in 2012.
“If all the information given in this book is generally correct, it suggests we will be bombarded with various information that has remained buried for millennia. If this is true we have much reason to hope that the Age of Aquarius will be one of true enlightenment and understanding. Although we might find that incredible information is in ample supply, we would all be foolish to think that everything is going to come to us automatically with no effort on our part. But there does seem to be plenty of optimism for those of us who want to learn from our ancient past and program our future accordingly.”
So post 2012 is an era of “true enlightenment and understanding”, huh?
I should point out that as of May 10, Moon is still alive (and offering patent instructions for a DIY time machine, apparently). I would love to hear what he would have to say about social media and fake news.
Chapters 21-22 is just plain insanity. And by that I mean more insane than usual. So during the time of Atlantis 13,000 years ago, everyone was magical, but society began to decline as people began to move toward the Dark Side (seriously). “The Light Warriors” then split into two factions; the Phrees and the Catholies. The former believed in independence and founded the Egyptian kingdom and the latter believed in control and founded Rome. Apparently, literally the entire history of the world, from the Roman Empire to the Holy Roman Empire to the founding of Islam to the Crusades to the Inquisition to the destruction of the Knights Templar to the American Revolution to the French Revolution to Napoleon’s conquests to the British Empire to the Jacobite Rebellion to the American Civil War to World War I was the result of the secret war being waged by these two groups.
What’s that you say? Why yes, this is the plot of Assassin’s Creed, how’d you guess? Well, actually I should clarify; it’s Assassin’s Creed if the participants were Jedi and Sith.
You know, out of all of the ludicrous concepts in these books, I almost kind of wish that this one was true. How awesome would be to live in a world where Jedi Knights fought Sith Lords throughout time in a secret war that continues to this day? Actually, I think I’m starting to understand the appeal of these books.
All of this climaxed when Hitler (oh boy, here we go) found the Spear of Longinus and used it in his conquests. It was later found in a vault by American forces hours after his death, presumably lead by William Blazkowicz. Chapter 22 continues this thread with the CIA discovered all of the things the Nazis came up with, they quickly began to cover it up. See, a guy named Karl Haushofer an occultist who was able to predict the future, formed both the Thule Society and the Vril Society, the latter of which apparently managed to contact aliens who decided to share some UFO technology with them. He met up with Hitler via Rudolf Hess and “found a use for him as a German messiah” (even though he was Austrian, but whatever), helping him rise to power. Meanwhile, the Thule Society hooked up with Aleister Crowley’s boys (remember him?) and managed to open a time rift in 1923. They formed another group called the “Order of the Black Sun” (pretty badass name, actually).
“In project Phisummum the Order of the Black Sun wanted to retrieve the Holy Grail from a past century and put it into the hands of the groomer of the Antichrist. This was at best an attempt to balance the two forces and create a transdimensional consciousness. As part of this magical process, Aleister Crowley and other magicians participated. Some of them were high ranking Nazis. Sex magic was employed and the Spear of Longinus was supposedly used as a magical power source.”
For once, I’m glad that Moon doesn’t go into detail here. I really don’t need to know the specifics of how high-ranking Nazis used sex magic. My apologies if you’re in to that sort of thing. Apparently this caused a “time explosion” and a scientist stole some crystals that were crucial to the project. Meanwhile;
“These secret societies saw Hitler as a Moonchild or messiah that could be used to unite the world and rebuild the Tower of Babylon in order to unite consciousness with the most high.”
Uh-huh.
Also, Hitler was best friends with the Pleiadians, who lent him some UFO tech, which appeared in the form of the infamous Foo Fighters. However, the “German contact” who relayed all of this information to Moon says that this is, of course, absolutely ridiculous.
Hitler was friends with the Aldeberans, you American dummbatz.
With that said, why are conspiracy theorists so convinced that the alien races were so keen on helping out the Third Reich? If I was some alien emperor from the Andromeda Galaxy looking to sponsor a human government, I think that the country run by a complete moron with a cocaine addiction and chronic flatulence would be the last choice. Actually, come to think of it, maybe that’s why the aliens gave him their tech; just so they could see how this idiot could fuck it up for their amusement.
Anyway, apparently the “Axis” moniker came from the shift of the Earth’s axis and its correspondence to “the black sun in the center of the galaxy” courtesy of Haushofer who was apparently a brilliant man, but he failed because of Hitler.
See, the “brilliant intellect and precise magician” (seriously) was told by his “mystic visions” to use the Spear of Longinus for evil, thus filling the role of the Antichrist. Regardless, Haushofer used his clairvoyance to advise Hitler of military strategy, but ultimately became disgusted by Hitler’s “Final Solution”.
“By this time, Hitler was an absolute dictator and was not respectful of the societies that had put him into power.”
It’s almost like putting a complete fucking lunatic in charge of the country was a bad idea. In order to stop Hitler, Haushofer met with Crowley and Ian Fleming (the author of the James Bond novels) and arranged for Rudolf Hess to make his infamous flight to Britain to arrange a peace treaty. This of course failed when Hess was arrested, so Haushofer threw his lot in with Operation Valkyrie to take out Hitler. This also failed and Haushofer was kept in prison until the end of the war, after which he testified at Nuremberg and drank arsenic until he died. He also had a rather badass saying; “One who rides a tiger can’t expect to get off.”
Chapter 23 elaborates on Ian Fleming’s involvement; basically he somehow found out about the Philadelphia Experiment and was going to relay the information to another British agent, but died before he could do so on August 12th. Apparently this information would have concerned the magical ritual Crowley was performing the same day that the Experiment occurred.
Once again, this is too long for Reddit, so I'm going to have to split it up.
Continue to Part 2
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